Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. Once you do put your baby down in the crib or bassinet, the next . Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. Truth is: it's not simple. Let us know anonymously here! I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . Well, most of the time. And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! This may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby. Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she wasnt actually choking, but I thought she was). Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? 3. Everyone we know understands. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. Breast milk is the ideal food for babies with rare exceptions. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Should I cut down on her baths. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. Yoghurt. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. While working as an intern for an English daily, she realised that she likes writing above anything else. The lucky ones even get paidparental leave. We restricted visits initially. If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. . Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. They are going through a lot of changes. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. TTC since June 2009 Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. . Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we Q : 06.25.10 W : 01.11.13 #3 : due 11.02.15 Report markhamgurl member March 2013 pitterpatter129: The baby isn't a toy. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. advertising. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. We told our Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Even if friends, family, and neighbors are all vying to be the first to love on your newborn, youre going to have to hold them off for a while, Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, tells Romper. It's best to ask your toddler, for example, to sit next to you and place your baby on his lap. them live close by - 4 sets of parents (we both have divorced parents She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. That's a lot of Flu is particularly dangerous in babies and they cannot be vaccinated until they are 6 months old. I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. Ive also never felt the love that I feel for Sophia. In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Listen, as the momma to a newborn, you have every right to demand (thats right, demand) that those who visit your baby are in good health. A post on Mumsnet . Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. The days that followed were a whirlwind. I would stay up at night staring at her, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. This means they need to feed little and often. Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . Enter our competition here to be in with a chance! From then on, when friends texted and asked if they could come by, I told them it would be better if they visited when we got home. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press It's best to go ahead and do the tasks that you see that need doing, but use good judgment. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. Some people are being understanding, others are not. "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Grandparents must understand that these decisions aren't something that parents are doing to the grandparents. Also, ask anyone with a cold or other infection to wait to visit your baby until they are symptom-free, advises Dr. Hasson. Anyone else's baby a climber. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. They also offer support and. If Covid has taught us anything, according to Dr. Schaffner, its that outdoor gatherings (when possible) are somewhat safer than indoor meetings, where everyone might be breathing in the same stale, stagnant air. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. Family members who visit you and your baby may want to hold them. And your baby might need more sleep than you think. Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. I personally think you are overreacting. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Sick people should not hold your baby. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. His son Ryan and. Letting family members hold your baby. I was trying to do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and I had tried. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. Today, social media is everything. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Updated: June 3, 2021. Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. 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